My Robbie is at work, while I am sitting at home all alone on new years night. He spent the day with me... now I miss him. I loves him soooooo much. Oh well, at least he is getting paid double time and a half :) and I shall see him tomorrow when we go and watch Tin Tin in 3D at the movies! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAay.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Don't know what to say.
I don't know what to say. <<< apart from this sentence<<< and this one :) <<<
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
No Pain
Right now, I'm not feeling any pain what so ever. I am at peace. I am happy.
This year, I got into a real bad place in my mind. A place that I wouldn't wish for anyone else to go. I may have seemed normal to people who know me, like my church family.... but I wasn't. I was messed up, and I didn't know the way out. There were times where I was sitting in Rob's car with him on a Sunday night after church, where I would be balling my eyes out and pulling at my hair, because something was disturbing me inside. Rob sore a side of me, that I wish he didn't have to see. He was also with me one afternoon when I was doing my last TAFE assignment, I was freaking out, screaming, fighting with my Dad and everything... I wanted my life to end there. Actually, that wasn't the first or the last time I thought about dying.
I know this story sounds rather dramatic, but it is the truth. I wanted to die. No one should want to die.Unfortunately when Satan gets into someones emotions, it is hard to get him out.
In August, I went into "She is... Free" camp, confused... and I came out free. I still struggled a bit afterwards, but I had stopped harming myself completely, and I had no intention of killing myself, the thought didn't even enter my mind. For the past few months, I have been trying to get over my year. I didn't really know how to escape the memory, and I sort of wanted to forget it all together. I felt like it was creeping up behind me.
Now, I don't feel the need to escape my memories of this year, because just this month, I realised that the troubles I went through, benefited me. Yes, I hated my emotional pain, and I hated that I was causing myself physical pain... as I said, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.... but God used my pain to teach me.
The big lesson He has taught me is that I can always depend on Him to pull me through. At the moment, He is still teaching me patience. I have been praying for patience for most of the year, and I wasn't seeing any change,,, but now I realise that He has been teaching me all along, by giving me situations in where I have to be patient. God isn't just going to take my struggles away, because then I wouldn't learn. Now I am practicing patience.
I am grateful. God never gave me the chance to become mentally Ill. I thought I was at one stage, but it was all Satan's way of fooling me into thinking that life sucked. Life does kind of suck for millions of people... I look on 3rd world countries, and I hear about their stories. On top of not having enough food and clean water, they have to face violence in a lot of the countries.... but I don't have to deal with that. I also don't have to deal with mental illness of any sort. God has provided me with more than I need. I'm happy. There is still a lot of work to be done... and I know there are times where I will fall... but I have a good teacher.
This year, I got into a real bad place in my mind. A place that I wouldn't wish for anyone else to go. I may have seemed normal to people who know me, like my church family.... but I wasn't. I was messed up, and I didn't know the way out. There were times where I was sitting in Rob's car with him on a Sunday night after church, where I would be balling my eyes out and pulling at my hair, because something was disturbing me inside. Rob sore a side of me, that I wish he didn't have to see. He was also with me one afternoon when I was doing my last TAFE assignment, I was freaking out, screaming, fighting with my Dad and everything... I wanted my life to end there. Actually, that wasn't the first or the last time I thought about dying.
I know this story sounds rather dramatic, but it is the truth. I wanted to die. No one should want to die.Unfortunately when Satan gets into someones emotions, it is hard to get him out.
In August, I went into "She is... Free" camp, confused... and I came out free. I still struggled a bit afterwards, but I had stopped harming myself completely, and I had no intention of killing myself, the thought didn't even enter my mind. For the past few months, I have been trying to get over my year. I didn't really know how to escape the memory, and I sort of wanted to forget it all together. I felt like it was creeping up behind me.
Now, I don't feel the need to escape my memories of this year, because just this month, I realised that the troubles I went through, benefited me. Yes, I hated my emotional pain, and I hated that I was causing myself physical pain... as I said, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.... but God used my pain to teach me.
The big lesson He has taught me is that I can always depend on Him to pull me through. At the moment, He is still teaching me patience. I have been praying for patience for most of the year, and I wasn't seeing any change,,, but now I realise that He has been teaching me all along, by giving me situations in where I have to be patient. God isn't just going to take my struggles away, because then I wouldn't learn. Now I am practicing patience.
I am grateful. God never gave me the chance to become mentally Ill. I thought I was at one stage, but it was all Satan's way of fooling me into thinking that life sucked. Life does kind of suck for millions of people... I look on 3rd world countries, and I hear about their stories. On top of not having enough food and clean water, they have to face violence in a lot of the countries.... but I don't have to deal with that. I also don't have to deal with mental illness of any sort. God has provided me with more than I need. I'm happy. There is still a lot of work to be done... and I know there are times where I will fall... but I have a good teacher.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Unicorns
So I requested ideas to blog about and the first idea I get is Unicorns.
Just for you Kat!
I decided to look "Unicorns" up in Urban dictionary... here is what I got:
Yeh... weird.
And this is what Dictionary.com had to say about Unicorns:
Just for you Kat!
I decided to look "Unicorns" up in Urban dictionary... here is what I got:
The Romans called what we now know as rhinoceros a "unicornus".
Later, they evolved into two species:
1. the white unicorn (of horselike appearance with one beautiful horn on the center of its head)
2. the pink unicorn (of unknown appearance, as it is invisible)
Later, they evolved into two species:
1. the white unicorn (of horselike appearance with one beautiful horn on the center of its head)
2. the pink unicorn (of unknown appearance, as it is invisible)
Plinius: Look, a unicorn. What impressive and massive legs!
Walt: Oh, it's lovely! Well, if I draw it as a white horse with a horn...
Scott: I don't believe in unicorns. Besides, it's pink.
Walt: Oh, it's lovely! Well, if I draw it as a white horse with a horn...
Scott: I don't believe in unicorns. Besides, it's pink.
Yeh... weird.
And this is what Dictionary.com had to say about Unicorns:
u·ni·corn[yoo-ni-kawrn] Show IPA
noun
1.
a mythical creature resembling a horse, with a single horn in the center of its forehead: often symbolic of chastity or purity.
2.
a heraldic representation of this animal, in the form of a horse with a lion's tail and with a long, straight, and spirally twisted horn.
3.
( initial capital letter
 ) Astronomy . the constellation Monoceros.
4.
an animal mentioned in the Bible, Deut. 33:17: now believed by some to be a description of a wild ox or rhinoceros.
5.
a former gold coin of Scotland, first issued by James III in 1486, having an obverse bearing the figure of a unicorn.
And just for fun... here is Charlie The Unicorn!!
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What should I blog about?
Ideas please!? Give me topics to blog about and I will blog about them.... maybe.
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