We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

It is Wednesday!!!

Yay for Wednesdays!!! I don't know about you, but when it reaches Wednesday, the rest of my week seems to go really fast for some reason. I like Wednesday, because it means that Friday is in two days, which means that I get to have Rob all for myself in two days... and it is technically actually only really one day till Friday... considering it is 11:55 pm, meaning that tomorrow, will soon be today... being Thursday.... Yay for Thursday!!
I'm not sure what I have planned for Tomorrow.... well I guess I plan to sleep until about 9:00 if I can help it. I would love a good 9 hours sleep.
Good night/ nearly morning, I hope you enjoyed your Wednesday, and that you enjoy your Thursday.
love, me.

Deeply distressed

I am having a bit of a read through Mark at the moment, because it is the book that we will be going through, on SMASH camp.

Mark 3:1-6
1 Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. 2 Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Stand up in front of everyone."
4 Then Jesus asked them, "Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they remained silent.
5 He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. 6 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.

As I read this, verse 5 stood out to me... Jesus was trying to help the Pharisees, and show them His love, but all they wanted to do, was to accuse Jesus and see Him killed.... In verse 5, it states that Jesus was angry at them and deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts... This is where I had a bit of a think about it... Jesus was deeply distressed, all He wanted was for them was to know His father. The verse brought to my mind, the thought of Jesus on the cross, in agony and dying for us... how deeply distressed must have He been on the cross? He was dying for everyone in the world, in the present and the future... for all their sins, and all of ours.... all of the stubborn hearts. When I think of Him deeply distressed, it defiantly saddens me. It surely must hurt for Jesus to see so many of His brothers and sisters choose the wrong way, and end up rotting in hell. 

I think we really need to pray for the world... those who don't know Jesus need a wake up call.

God bless

Monday, August 29, 2011

So glad to say goodbye to last week.

OK, so last week was both emotionally and physically draining... The Blondie incident occurred, I felt defeated because I don't have a job, and lots of emotions were coming to the surface but I couldn't figure out why... Yesterday I was still coming to terms with the week, and then there was an incident last night that isn't my place to say, so I won't say it.... but I will say that it frightened me and certainly made me think about a few things differently.... and I felt half responsible for this incident... I felt like I could have been the influence... and I felt like I didn't handle it well....
Anyway,,,, so yeah, horrible week last week, lots of emotions etc...etc.. and last nights incident, beginning my week topped it off.... but I think that it made me realise that I need to start to think more about where my life is heading. I need to add more prayer into my life, and I really need to include God in my decisions. I have decided that this week, I am going to chill. I might apply for more jobs... and I am thinking that I will pray a lot more than usual. I will wait patiently for God to point me in the right direction, all in His timing. That is my recipe for this week.
I am sick of worry being the extra burden in my life. It is time to try a little harder, and have more faith in my creator.

God bless
I hope you all have a good week!
Xx Love, Me xX

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Psalm 41

For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.

2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
they are counted among the blessed in the land—
he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.

3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
and restores them from their bed of illness.

4 I said, "Have mercy on me, Lord;
heal me, for I have sinned against you."

5 My enemies say of me in malice,
"When will he die and his name perish?"

6 When one of them comes to see me,
he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander;
then he goes out and spreads it around.

7 All my enemies whisper together against me;
they imagine the worst for me, saying,

8 "A vile disease has afflicted him;
he will never get up from the place where he lies."

9 Even my close friend,
someone I trusted,
one who shared my bread,
has turnedt against me.

10 But may you have mercy on me, Lord;
raise me up, that I may repay them.

11 I know that you are pleased with me,
for my enemy does not triumph over me.

12 Because of my integrity you uphold me
and set me in your presence forever.

13 Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Amen and Amen.

What really got to me in this Psalm was verse 9:
"Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me."
I have had friends like this, that I learned to trust, and then they turned against me. It hurts a lot to have someone do that to you. But I guess this Psalm also reminds me that we aways have a friend in God, and of course Jesus... He is all we need,,, He is everlasting to everlasting! 

God bless
Love, Me xx

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Who my name says I am...

There used to be a really fun relief teacher at school, she filled in for our ECP class and always let us slack off and do what we want.... when another teacher walked past, she would tell us to pretend that we were working ... Her name was Mrs.O. A weird thing about her though, was that she would tell us what our names said about us.... She called herself a gypsy or something. I can't remember what she said about me, but obviously it was a load of rubbish. I am sure there are other Elissa's in the world who are nothing like me... and of course there are Elissa's who are a bit like me, that is because emotions exist in everyone. I know a few people who have a lot in common with me, and they certainly don't have my name... you get my point.... Anyways so tonight I decided to look up my name meaning, and I came across a website, which was also obviously a load of rubbish, but their definition of me was quite accurate.....

  • As Elissa you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable.
  • You have the gift of tact and diplomacy, and possess a charming, easy-going nature which endears you to others.
  • You have a serious desire to understand the heart and mind of everyone, and could be very effective in a career or in volunteer work where you are handling people and serving in a humanitarian way.
  • This name also gives you a love of home and family, and as a parent you would likely be fair and understanding.
  • Although the name Elissa creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions.
  • This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and worry or mental tension.
Here is the link if you want it....

Yes it is accurate but I wouldn't fall for it... It would be interesting to know if you think that your name meaning on this website is accurate.
The trick that they use is talking about and using emotions in each of these definitions... Females are more likely to fall for this, because we are more emotional...... A lot of people may come across a point and think... "ahh that's not really true".... then they try and make it true for themselves, so then it becomes true. e.g... the first point that the website made was that I am serious minded.  My first thought was that I'm not actually serious, but when I thought about it, I realised that I guess I sort of can be..... that is the way these things trick you. Yes, I am serious, but I can also be really silly and bubbly. Not many people would describe me as serious at all. So then we go down the list, and trick ourselves into ticking the boxes. The people writing these use guess work and chance. They also tend to base these on someone they know with that name, and then it is the same process, where someone reads that this is their so called name meaning, but really it is someone else's , and this person just happens to have the same similarities.

So who am I:
I am Elissa, my name origin is Greek, and it actually means Oath of God. The name comes from Queen Dido of Carthage, who was also called Elissa.... she died of love sickness... but anyways... I wasn't really named after anyone, unless you count my Auntie Elizabeth... which my name is a variation of.
As a person, I would say that I am caring, and kind hearted which also makes me quite emotional and soft. I am generally reliable and like to please people. I can be quite bubbly, and playful. I have a side that is dead set on the ways that I was brought up with... in other words, I don't like change...I like tradition. I am romantic. I am creative. I am mostly easy going, but I can also get stressed. I'm not very confident, in myself, and can be quite shy and introverted, but I always describe myself as a "wanna be extrovert".
You see, when you get into detail, you realize that you are so much more than these people say you are. You have some of these qualities, and sometimes on the off chance like me... you have most of the qualities, but you are also unique!
Let me know if any of that didn't make sense.

God bless
Love, Me xx

Nothing to do

It is 9:53.... wait no... 9:54am.... and I am blogging. So far I have gotten up, said hello to Mum and Norm, played a bit of piano, gone on facebook, read Rob's latest blog post, and now I am writing my own post. I am also wondering why Rob hasn't replied to my offline message. Later I will probably have a shower, watch last night's Home and Away episode, and then do more Facebooking and watching YouTube or something and probably eat the whole kitchen out because I am so bored. I will probably check the lost bird websites that I signed up for, a dozen times as well.... then I will sit at the computer wondering what on earth to do, and I will try desperately to find something to do and fail.
That is my life at the moment.... every.... single....day..... I do the same thing over and over and over. This is the bit where y'all tell me that if I am so bored, I should get off my but and get a job, but if you read my last post, then you would know that there is no where decent for me to work at the moment, and I feel absolutely crap about working.
I am glad that tomorrow is Friday... I go to Rob's on Fridays... I like Fridays... hmmm... anyway, it is now 10:04. I'm going to go upstairs and eat because I am hungry, and probably have my shower and then do all of the things I just said. I hope y'all have a better day planned than I do.

Love, -E- xxx
God bless

P.S, Don't ask why I wrote "y'all" *shifty eyes*

Monday, August 22, 2011


The wind blew Blondie Girl's birdcage over this morning while I was asleep. The tray at the bottom of the cage fell off, and she flew away. I found no birdy in the cage today :'( . If only I hadn't slept in this morning, I would have brought her inside before the wind blew her cage over. I always bring her inside in gusty weather like this... but no, I stayed up late last night, and slept in till 1:00 this afternoon. She must have escaped between 9:00 and 1:00 today, because she was still there when Mum left for work at 9:00.
I miss her so much, and I am so worried about her surviving out there. It is gusty and cold, and the sun is going down. There is no way for her to find food, because she has been in a cage her hole life. She won't know what to do, and how to defend herself from other birds. The sky is also cloudy, and I am so worried about it raining. I just want her back. I am so upset. I have been crying all day and praying so much, because I feel so useless. I can't do anything about it. I really really hope that someone has found her. I plan to put up missing posters around the suburbs... but they didn't do too much when Chief and Smoky flew away...so I am doubting that they will do much for me now. I always expected to have Blondie until she dies... she is an old bird... about 8 years old.
:'( :'( :'(
So sad.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

He completes me

He created this Universe, this beautiful world, and everything in it. God has the best view of it, but He created it for us, that is why I love being on top of mountains, because I can see a little glimpse of what God can see.
It is hard to believe that something so beautiful, was once, even more beautiful, it was beyond perfect...

But along with the world, He also gave us the freedom of choice, and we were bound to make the wrong choice...

Despite our fall, He is eternally devoted to us...

So much that He sent His son to die for us....

So that we may live eternally, and have a relationship with Him.
He is unchangeable, unfathomable, and His love is unconditional. He is so much more than we could describe or imagine.

                                        .He completes me.

Does He complete you?

God bless
Love -E- xx

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Do not worry, Do not be anxious. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strenth!

I have been worrying a lot lately. What many people don't know, is that worrying is a sin. It is wrong to worry, because God has everything under control, we don't need to worry.... yet worrying seems to effect a lot of people in their every day lives, especially women, because we tend to be more emotional than men. We constantly worry about our jobs, our lives in general, our faith, our family, and all sorts of things.
Thankfully we can always turn to the bible for some guidance and motivation, and of course we can pray!
Here are some of my favorite verses and passages out of the bible...

Mathew 6:25-34
22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your lifet?26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27 "Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
32 "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Philippians 4:6&7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:13 
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

 Is there any others that you know of.... it would be good to share a few :)

God bless
Love -E- xx

The Parable of the Lost Son

The Parable of the Lost Son

11 Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons.12 The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
13 "Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 "When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.'
20 So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 "The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.27 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28 "The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.29 But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31 "'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'"

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Decisions and pressure.

Sometimes I'm really not sure what to decide.... Let's just say, I am indecisive. I guess I am this way, because I am constantly being pressured to decide. Decisions effect everyone. There is a chance that your decision will be a good one, and there is a chance that your decision will be a bad one. I personally hate decision making. Depending on what it is, I prefer someone else to make the decision for me, especially if , for example:  I'm staying at a friends house for dinner and desert, and she is going to buy us a tub of ice cream for desert, so she asks me "Do you want me to get Strawberry, or Chocolate Ice cream?"... I would say "You choose, it is your money!"... and she would say "You're the guest".... Sheeesh! What am I supposed to pick? In fact, in this situation I am not actually being indecisive... I would definitely want to pick chocolate ice cream... but what if she wants Strawberry? The pressure is on!
Pressure, I hate pressure! Decisions almost always involve pressure. Of course there are decisions that I need to make, and want to make... it is important that we are independent and we have an opinion, but if I have to make a choice that effects someone else, I hate it. Too much pressure.
This weekend, my brother Tim, invited a bunch of the young adults from church, to go camping with him out at Samford. I suppose something in me wanted to go. I have never been camping, apart from in my back yard, and at the church. It sounded fun. The thing is, Rob isn't much into camping, and he had Uni assignments to do this weekend.  I didn't want to go unless he was going. On the other hand, James was going, and so was Ash and Bec... I was a bit envious of them going, and me missing out on the fun. I sort of considered going, but the more I thought about it, the more confusing it sounded.... I have Sunday school tomorrow morning, and I didn't really have any way to get home before church, so that I could have a shower. I also took into consideration, how late I would be up, and how hard it would be to get up early in the morning. Then of course, I have a crazy Sunday school class to run, and I have enough trouble running it when I'm not tired.... I am also getting a cold, I have a sore throat and need to save it for singing on Sunday night, and I have back problems that may be effected by sleeping in a tent on the hard ground!  I had many reasons not to go camping this weekend, and I was completely put off the idea when I thought about these reasons. So I said no, I'm not going to attend. Unfortunately, the queen of putting me under pressure (Bec), texted me, telling me that I should go camping. We texted back and forth a few times, as I told her some of my excuses, and she made up solutions for them.... The real truth that I didn't tell her, so that she didn't think it was a stupid excuse, was that I didn't want to go because Rob isn't going. I felt so pressured to make up excuses, which were all quite valid, until she made solutions up for them. She thankfully eventually gave up on me, but by the end of it, I wished that I had just said "Naah, I was going to, but I don't feel like it any more"... perhaps I knew that she would somehow try to convince me anyway... I dunno, but I do know that pressure always gets to me... I hate it, and I hate having to explain myself to Bec, every time I don't want to do something that she wants me to do.

What do you think?
I am personally quite happy today, just relaxing.

God bless
Love -E-

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

About me! (Personal Version)

This was a note a did on facebook that one of my friends sent me... I thought I would share it... but since my blog is more personal, I have changed a few of the answers.

1. Real name? Elissa May Kingsford
2. Nicknames? I have a few... Liss, Lissy, E, Eeeelissa
3. Zodiac sign? I don't know, and I don't care really because it is a load of rubbish in my opinion!
4. Male or female? Female
5. Primary school? Ferny Hills State School
6. Middle school? I'm Aussie, I didn't go to middle school!
7. High school? Ferny Grove Sate High School
8. Hair color? Sandy Blonde
9. Tall or short? I would have to say medium
10. Trackies or jeans? It depends where I am!
11. Phone or camera? Both. I love photography, and I love my phone.
12. Health Freak? Uhm... not really, but I do try to be healthy... sort of.
13. Orange or apple? I eat apples more, but only because I can't be bothered cutting up an orange.
14. Do you have a crush on someone? I am in love with Rob. I did have a crush on James, and my friend Louis, but I don't any more.
15. Eat or drink? They are both important!
16. Piercings? My ears are pierced once.
17. Pepsi or coke? Coke!!!!!!! I hate Pepsi!


18. Been in an airplane? Yes, twice, but the last time was when I was 3 and a half.
19. Been in a relationship? Many... about 8 stupid ones.... and One good one, that will last.
20. Been in a car accident? Not really... sort of... where the car was only a bit damaged, it wasn't huge.
21. Been in a fist fight? nope, I have punched a few people before though.
22. First piercing? ears
23. First best-friend? Bec... but now it is Rob. I suppose I have some close friends in general, but not specifically.
24. First award? I got a few good girl awards in primary school.
25. First crush? Ian Roe in Pre-school... but my biggest primary school crush was Jake Thompson.
26. First word? I think It may have been "Boo!"
27. Last person you talked to in person? Rob
28. Last person you texted? Rob
30. Last song you listened to? Devotion
31. Last thing you bought? My She is... T-shirt!


33. Food? I has way to many... Shepherds pie, chocolate, jelly beans, Philadelphia cream cheese, ice cream, custard.
34. Drinks? I love a glass of water ;)
35. Bottoms? No, I only have one!
36. Flower? Lily or rose
37. Animal? Wombats
38. Colors? Pink and purple
39. Movie? Don't have a particular favorite... probably Tangled at the moment.
40. Subjects? Early Childhood Practices, Tourism, Visual Arts.


41. Fallen in love with someone? Yes, still am.
42. Celebrated Halloween? nope, it is rubbish.
43. Had your heart broken? Yer.
44. Went over the minutes/texts on your phone? Yep.
45. Someone question your gender? nope
46. Eatten a whole pizza? Nope, but I have eaten half a pizza. It depends though, I have eaten a whole mini pizza... does that count???
47. Tried to do something, but didn't succeed? Plenty of times... I think it is important to fail at some things though... we are human, and therefore we are not perfect.
48. Did something you regret? Yer, I cut myself and left scars on my legs... That was stupid!... The worst thing that I regret, I can't even right on my blog! Oh well, mistakes have to happen in life. I have done and said many things that I have regretted.
49. Broke a promise? Yer, a number of times... I usually regret it, but sometimes breaking promises are the right thing to do, if they are hurting someone.
50. Had a secret? Certainly have, and still do.... again, not going to right it on my blog!
51. Pretended to be happy? Indeed I have, and I am rather good at it ;)
52. Met someone who changed your life? Yer... Rob :) I think everyone that we meet, changes our lives, weather it is small or big, they still have an impact somehow.
53. Pretended to be sick? Many times... mostly because I was being bullied at school though.
54. Tried something you normally wouldnt do, and liked it? Yer.
55. Cried over a silly thing? Definitely... but I can't think of specifics.
56. Ran a km? Not ran, I have jogged and walked a km... I have tried to before, but my Asthma doesn't allow it.
57. Went to the beach with your best friend? Yerr... good times.
58. Got into an argument with your friends? Too many to count, but I didn't start it! It was always Bec who started it... and I was either in the middle of the argument, or the person Bec was arguing with.
59. Hated someone? I dislike many people that I have met over the years, but as much as I would like to hate them, I don't. It is wrong to hate... I love them, because God loves them.
60. Stayed single a whole year? This is a silly question!
61. Eating?  Chocolate Love heart with hundreds and thousands on top.
62. Drinking? Nothing at the moment
63. Listening? The sound of the computer, my typing, the breeze outside and the squeaky washing line.
64. Plans for today? Relaxing, going for a walk, doing my exercises, and going to Girls Brigade. Then After GB, watching Winners and Loser's, Dinner date, and whatever else is on TV
65. Waiting for? Rob to propose!
66. Want kids? Yes, three!
67. Want to get married? Yep, and I am ready for it right now!
68. Careers in mind? Being an Early Childhood Educator in a childcare setting... I will be in God's timing.


69. Lips or eyes?  Eyes... but I must say that Rob's lips are great to kiss.
70. Shorter or taller? Taller
71. Romantic or spontaneous? Romantic with some Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms? Does it matter?
73. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship!
74. Looks or personality? personality


75. Lost glasses or contacts? Yes, I have lost my glasses before... they completely disappeared.
76. Snuck out of a house? Not my house, but Bec and I snuck out of her house once or twice!
77. Held a gun/ knife for self defense? nope. I have a fear of Guns and could never touch one!
78. Broken someones heart? Yes I suppose I have.
79. Been in love? Yep, still am.
80. Cried when someone dies? Of course I have! You would be heartless not to! When Grandad died, I cried almost every day for about a month. When someone dies at church I cry, and when I hear on the news about tragedies, I certainly tear up.


81. Yourself? I didn't used to at all, I was always putting myself down....but now I am beginning to believe in myself.
82. Miracles? Yes, they exist and happen all the time.
83. Love at first sight? No, Love has to mature and grow.
84. Heaven? Yes, I don't even question it!
85. Santa Clause? No, never did.
86. God? Absolutely, I am His Daughter, and He is eternally devoted to me :)
87. Kiss on a first date? Not really, when I have had my first kisses, they weren't on dates. Rob was over at my house, when we had our first kiss... I wouldn't call it a date.


88. Is there anyone you want to be with right now? Rob.... and my friends, whom I miss dearly.
89. Do you know who your real friends are? Yep.

Love, Me
God bless xx

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My new Physio hurts :(

Apparently my old Physio (The Bulls Cricket team Physio) has re-located somewhere else. I haven't been there in about 2 years, but after my recent back problems, I have been told to go back to Physio. So mum tried to ring them several times and they didn't answer. She went down to see them today, and they aren't there any more. It is really odd. According to the Chemist next door, they just up and left without saying anything,
So we rang another local Physio, and I went and sore her this afternoon. She was very good, but I nearly cried in agony when she was massaging my lower back. It was so painfull. I am used to the good pain I get when my old Physio did my shoulders. Obviously my lower back is worse than my shoulders. It is certainly worse than I thought!

Love, me
God bless.