We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

On my way from misery to happiness today?

On my way from misery to happiness today? If only... Y'know I have been through enormous stress because of tafe. Too many assignments, the expectation from everyone that I will pass... As for MY expectation... well... I didn't think I was going to finish all of my assignments, which would equal fail. I stressed for a long time about how on earth I could get all of my assignments done. Failing is a scary thought. The thing is, now I only have one assignment left to hand in... I have done some re-submits, and will be waiting for a few more... but apart from that, It looks like I am going to pass. So why am I still stressed? I know tafe isn't completely over yet... maybe I will feel better once it is official, but I don't know. Right now I feel rather low and I don't know why. I feel like I should feel like there is a huge weight off my shoulder, but I am certainly not feeling like that right now. I think I am a bit worried about getting a job. I definitely plan to have a month break first, but getting a job is on my mind for sure. I have never had a job, not even part time. I am completely scared. It is easy for other people to say "You'll be fine"... but it isn't easy for me to take those words in. I hate it when people say those words... they are trying to be reassuring, but It doesn't work... no offence. I don't believe in myself... how could I believe in anything positive that anyone else says to me? Sure I might believe them if they say "hmm, I don't know if you will be a good childcare worker or not" because that is exactly what I am thinking... will I be a good childcare worker? Can I handle the stress? Can I even handle the whole process of going for a job? I am thinking the answer is No, No, No! I simply can't believe that everything is going to be fine, when I don't know it will be... and neither do you! I guess God wouldn't put me through all the stress of assignments and tafe for nothing... there is no doubt that I am meant to work with children... but I am so scared of it at the same time! I am so scared of getting my expectations up... I don't handle disappointment well. HMMmmm.... The thing is, if I were trying to give advice to me, I would probably say something along the lines of "Do what you think God wants, and go with the flow... what He wants is best even if it doesn't always seem that way, He knows what He is doing!"... That kind of makes me a hypocrite... I am good at giving advice, even giving advice to myself... but I barely ever follow it. It is like I know what I should and shouldn't be doing in most situations... but I can't seem to believe in myself.

I have been thinking a lot about childhood lately.... lol well it is kind of my job.... but anyway, I did a VP assignment about behaviour. I chose to do it on this girl (can't say her name) who seems to disrupt the class, and disrupt the other children's games. She is always role playing, and has an amazing imagination....It is hard to explain... but anyway I came to the conclusion (And the kindy teacher backed me up) that this girl is attention seeking. She mostly needs attention from other children...but adults too. So anyways I had to explore possible reasons for the behaviour, and there were many... I had to use my own knowledge and Google, to explore these reasons and find strategies that are likely to work with this child. So I ended up coming across an article. It basically told me that a child who needs attention will get it, but no matter what, it will NEVER be enough. The child will want more. So anyway the strategy was to give the child 10 minutes of attention a day and call it "special time"... 2 minutes before special time you are to tell the child that it is 2 minutes until special time... 2 minutes before special time is over you are to tell the child that in 2 minutes special time will be over... The child can do what they want in special time, just as long as you are there........ It got me thinking about myself... I too, need attention, and I keep asking for more,,, but it is never enough. Poor Kane has to deal with me trying to get as much attention from him as possible. It is true... I never have enough. He gives me attention, and I want more. If he doesn't give me enough, I freak out. He can't win. Neither can I. He can't exactly give me 10 minutes of attention a day either. Lol he has a life! Besides.. I'm pretty sure that strategy is meant for children. I know I am a child at heart and all but anyways.... so I can relate to children well. There is a child at the kindy I was at, who is a huge drama queen... she gets so upset so easily, and makes everything more dramatic than it is. It made me wonder if she isn't getting enough attention at home .... Perhaps the most interesting childhood problem I sore was from a girl that I spent a long time with. The block corner at this kindy was barely used, until I sat with this girl and encouraged her. She ended up spending about half an hour, building a tower. I then followed it up the next week by showing her some photo's of towers, including the biggest tower in the world... she and I spent a whole hour in the block corner. I simply watched her as she built a masterpiece. It was brilliant. It is rather unusual, but spectacular for a 4 year old to stick to one thing for that long. A child of this age doesn't have a big attention span at all. Just goes to show what they can do when they like something enough. The kindy teacher and I dug deeper though, and we sort of wondered if she stayed so long in the block corner because she liked the one on one interaction with me, along with the encouragement. I mean, sure she likes blocks... but did she like me being there to interact with her? While this girl was building this tower, I was encouraging her... she seemed so motivated. The interesting thing was, after improving her tower only a little bit... she would ask the kindy teachers to have a look... she would gain praise from them, do a little bit more, and go back to the teachers again. It was so amazing. It seems to us that this girl needs approval. It was great what she did in the block corner... but she needed lots of approval to be her motivation. It was a happy yet kind of sad occasion.
Sometimes being at kindy made me sad. After all the counselling I have had, I have figured out that it was my past, and sometimes present home life (and a bunch of other things) that have led me to need attention so much. It makes me wonder what some of these children are going through at home. It doesn't have to be abuse... I wasn't exactly abused... but I was bullied by Matt a lot, and I never felt like I had my own opinion.... all because of that, I have self esteem problems, and I can't survive without getting attention.
I do really hope that as a childcare worker, I can give children that don't get enough attention, the attention they need, so that they don't turn out like me!.... Which leads me back to what I was talking about at the start of this post... I don't believe in myself. I don't want to wish it on anyone. I am constantly stuck with the thought that I am not good enough. No decent advice works on me! I am just not good enough.

I hope I didn't confuse you too much... I know what I mean... I'll try to sum it up for you anyway... so basically I am low because I am scared of getting a job, because I don't believe in myself and follow my own advice, because of my childhood... and that's why I ranted on about other children's attention/approval seeking behaviour... I don't want children to turn out like me... I want children to believe in themselves. I hope that didn't confuse you more. Hmmm...Anyways so I am going to sit at the computer for a while and do whatever. Try not to get too low I guess. I am staying on till midnight so that I can wish James a happy birthday on facebook :) Yay for James. Oooo... and 23 days till my birthday, and the first day of winter... and my last assignment is being handed in tomorrow! Yaaay... Ok so after that rant... and just realising what is ahead tomorrow... I am a bit happier. Yay for ranting on Blogger.

Love me
God bless

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Getting there

So it is Wednesday and I am half way through my last week of prac. Instead of watching State of Origin tonight, I will be doing assignments :(  it is the only way that I will get assignments done at all... so I have no choice but to work on them tonight. I will survive... there are still two more games of Origin to go. Hmmm I might have to find some ear plugs though. My assignmenting computer is upstairs where my parents will be watching Origin... I would prefer not to be distracted. So anyway assignments at the moment are pretty much the only thing on my mind, apart from wondering how today is going to work out. I have certainly prayed for a good day. Yesterday wasn't too bad, all of my planning went well. Today is very cold though. I might have to do a bit of improvising with my plans... I think I might make the kindy kids have their inside play today first, and their outside play last. hmmmm. This is my last day with group A. I can't wait to see my little group B kiddies tomorrow... I know them much better. Oooo and tomorrow is under eights day at Ferny Hills State School, and we are going. I am sooo excited. I remember the good ol' days of being under eight! Apparently not much has changed in under eight days, so it shall be a blast from the past for me :).
Anyway so I am getting there. I still have heaps more to do on assignments, but I am praying that I will get them done. I know for a fact that I will get resubmits. My teacher is really picky with assignments.  Not looking forward to that... but as long as I pass in the end. I'll update you on that later

Anyhow... I have to head off to prac... going to be a bit of a cold walk brrr. Oh wells.

God bless
Love me xx

Sunday, May 22, 2011

When I go down

Check this link out. When I go down- Relient K

It is a long song, but it is pretty much exactly how I feel. Sometimes I find lyrics of songs that only sort of relate to me, or only some of the lyrics relate to me... but when I listened to the words of this song, I realised that it is exactly how I feel. It is good to look at the words sometimes... what is the point in the words if they aren't listened to? 

"When I go down, I go down hard, and I take anything I've learned and teach myself some disregard. When I go down, it hurts to hit the bottom, and of the things that got me there, I think if only I had fought them"

I certainly have a low self esteem, I do teach myself some disregard. I constantly put myself down.... and the same thing always remains, I wish that I had fought my problems earlier. The longer we leave things, the more damaged we end up being. 

Thankfully we always have someone there with open arms

"When I go down, I lift my eyes to you, I won't look very far, Cause you'll be there with open arms"

My prayer is that you will look to Jesus when your going down, so that He can lift you up with his open arms.

God bless
Love me xx


Thursday, May 19, 2011

I'm trying

Sometimes it feels like everything that I do is stupid or wrong. I feel like I am not good enough for a lot of things. I try, sometimes I could try harder, but most times I try very hard to set things right.

I want so badly to pass TAFE. This course has provided me with so much knowledge for children, they are so precious, and I truly believe I am meant to be working with them somehow. The thing is that the course has also overwhelmed me with assignments, and given me heaps and heaps of stress to the point that I  get real low and wonder how I am going to pass. Seriously, I have come this far, I am a few weeks off from finishing.... but if I fail any assignment, then I fail a whole subject. My only choice is to pass all assignments or I will fail the whole subject and be forced to re-do the subject which means re-doing all of the assignments again. I can not afford to fail... I need to live. For 14 years now, I have been in education... although it is the only thing I know (I have never had a job), I need to get out, I need to pass to prove myself. My self esteem is low and there is no doubt about it... I need to pass. I keep telling myself that I will pass... why would God want me to fail, if this is the job that I am so sure he wants me doing? I wonder sometimes if God will let me fail so that I don't pass and he can use that somehow to improve me... but I am so scared. I don't know how to feel, that is my problem. I am incredibly confused. What if I do pass? I will celebrate, I will be so much happier that I will never have to do another assignment ever again... but.... then I have the worry that I have to finally get a job. I am scared of that too, very scared... it will be such a big change. I don't see myself being brave enough. Besides that I don't exactly want to be a group leader in a childcare centre... you see I want to work with children, but being in childcare is incredibly stressful and hard. Besides that, childcare workers are underpaid. Here I am again thinking that I have no choice but to try.... in fact I should be trying to put all of my trust in God that he will get me through, after all, he knows best. Yet I'm not doing a good job at that. I keep trying to do this myself.... how on earth can I just hand it all over to Him?

Another thing that I try without fully relying on God is fixing my emotional problems. My emotions are everywhere and often hard to deal with. I have asked God to help me out quite a few times, but do I actually believe that I will get over this emotional trouble? No I don't. I believe that God can get rid of all of my problems eventually, but will He? Again I don't know why he would want to let me continue to hurt, but what if He wants me to learn more? I have had emotional troubles for most of my life, my troubles are not fixed and it has given me so much pain. I continue to burden people... constantly asking for attention and help. It must be so frustrating for them. It angers me that I have frustrated them, yet I can't seem to help continuing asking for attention. I need God's help... actually I need to hand it all over to Him, but for some reason I feel like there is a barrier. *sigh* How am I meant to feel? Who am I meant to be?

I think I could do with a bit of prayer.

God bless
Love me xx

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Why I love him (warning, this is a tad bit soppy)

I love him because:
He loves me
He is a christian
He doesn't act like the hottest guy in the world
He prays for me
He looks at me as though I am the most beautiful thing in the world
He is funny (sometimes! Haha)
He can take a joke
He is laid back
He is smart
He stays with me even though I have hurt him a number of times
He promises that one day we will get engaged and married (that sort of makes us un-officially engaged)
He buys me cream cheese!... and Jelly beans, and V.
His words are thoughtful
His gifts are thoughtful
He tries his best not to burden people, he doesn't pick a fight.
He is gentle
He is caring
He doesn't give up
He isn't afraid to cry in front of me
He listens
He puts up with me tickling him! (mostly)
He is apologetic
He is himself, not someone else

He is so so so much more. I could keep going, but I would run out of room! I love him :)

God bless!

Monday, May 16, 2011

cream cheese

Cream cheese is sooooooo yummy. I have recently gotten quite addicted. Philadelphia Cream Cheese is of course the best, but any cream cheese is good as far as I know. Rob sometimes buys me Philly, and I loves it so much... mmmmm. Mum has started buying the home brand stuff, it is pretty good too. I ate about half a tub last week all on my own. The best time to eat cream cheese is in the afternoon, or on a Monday night watching Jonathan Creek... but lately Rob and I have eaten popcorn instead. Cream cheese can get expensive after a while. Hmmm I love savoury foods... instead of going straight to the lollies at a party, I prefer to go to the dip and just stand there and eat it. That is until I realise that I must look rather greedy eating all the dip. I think Parties should have cream cheese... I could just spread it onto crackers and take them with me on a plate, and not have to worry about people watching. Other cheeses are good too... but I refuse to eat anything with capsicum in it... or mold, like blue vein cheese. 
Hmm I probably shouldn't be blogging right now, I promised myself that before tonight I would do a bit of work on assignments, but I just couldn't resist... I opened a new tub of cream cheese, and got inspired, I had to write about it.
Anyways, I should really get onto assignments... besides, if I keep talking about cream cheese, I might end up eating the whole tub. Mum wouldn't be to happy. She likes cream cheese too.
Bye for now
God bless
Love me xx

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Productive not procrastinating

Yay me! Today I have been productive :)  I didn't feel motivated though. It seems unlikely that I can be productive without motivation, but I was.  The thing is I had no choice but to be productive. Many times today I sat at the computer and stared at a question, read it over and over again and then decided that I needed to get something to eat. I just couldn't think. I wrote a bit every now and again, but if looking out the screen door at the beautiful blue sky wasn't distracting, than eating, or going on facebook or e-mail was! I was cold and tired, and un-motivated. I asked God for help but I still felt a little helpless. I dunno. I got there slowly. After a few hours I decided that I would go lie out in the sun with Norm. It was such a beautiful day today, and I really needed to soak in the warmth of the sun. Norm has it so good, just lying around doing nothing all day. I could have stayed outside for hours, taking in the beauty of God's creation, but after about 20 minutes, I had to convince myself to get up and walk back into the cold house. It was a bit warmer inside when I got back though, and I was quite pleased. My prayer had started working. I kept on going, of course with distraction but I was perhaps a little more productive than earlier today. Towards tea time when the family got home from beachmere, the distractions around me were almost too much to bare. I kept thinking about giving up for the day, but I realised that it would leave me way too behind. After dinner I got back into it. Somehow I managed to get heaps done.

I have decided that I am going to pass. I have told myself so many times that I am going to fail, that I have gotten sick of myself! I am going to pass no matter how hard it gets, because I have the Almighty God right beside me "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Phil 4:13.

God bless
Love me xx

Thursday, May 12, 2011

We're NOTHING without you!

Let's make believe we're all ok?
Sure let's try that. Let's believe there is nothing wrong with the world and everything is fine and dandy. Let's try to be what WE would call perfect. Most of us would love to live in a world without any kind of emotional or physical pain.
The thing is, when us humans made the wrong choice in the garden of eden, the world had to fall! We chose sin over God! So now we need to have emotional and physical pain. If we didn't have emotional pain we wouldn't learn, if we didn't have physical pain... in other words, no feeling at all.... then we would be in much more danger than we are now. Of course there is consequence!
I know many people who sin as though there is no consequence (they don't believe there is consequence), probably because they would like to live by their own rules, not God's. Sex before marriage, for example, is something that too many people take part in... they don't see the consequence (or they give into temptation)... but it can damage those people more emotionally than they think. A high percentage of teenagers from the age 12 - 14 who have gotten depression, have the illness because they have had sex.  God created sex to be enjoyable in marriage.... you need to leave your parents, cleave, and become one! Having sex before mariage can lead to trouble... God didn't tell us not to do it before marriage for nothing! There is so much importance in it all...anyway, I could go through all that but I won't.
The point that I am trying to make (not sure if I am getting it across correctly) is that it is silly to live our own way. It is also silly to pretend that we are all ok. We are not! BUT... we should still try our best to live our life to the fullest, by following God, praying, obeying him, and having a relationship with Him and His amazing son Jesus :)  We are nothing without him.

Check out the link. Relient.K - We're nothing without you.


God bless
Love me xx

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Hey. I have allowed comments on my posts, not just for registered users, but for anyone who happens to come across my blog. I sent this blog to a few people, so those of you who have actually bothered to read it, you can also comment :)

God bless
love, me xx

Monday, May 9, 2011


I am in love with a fantastic guy called Rob. We have been together for 2 years and 9 months (in two days). He is an amazing support, he loves me. When things started getting hard for me emotionally, he stuck by me. I asked him if he wants to leave me... I was afraid that if he stayed I would hurt him and ruin his life, and I was very convinced that he could find someone better than me. I felt very un-deserving (still do actually).... but he insisted that we stay together (I of course want him to stay with me because I love him; I guess I just worry about hurting him). He cried, which is something I barely ever see him do, and he begged me. This is when I fully realized how much he loves me. For some reason he thinks that he would be more hurt if I left him, than if I put him through the pain of being with me. I have hurt him a number of times, and I don't deserve him but he has stuck by me completely. If anything, we have become closer in my pain. I still very much so have issues, but he won't leave me. Of course there are things about him that frustrate me, but all in all I couldn't imagine my life without him. We hope to get engaged and married as soon as we have enough money to live.

Here is my problem though. I have an attention seeking problem... I like to call it a disorder, or a mental illness. It is my main problem in life. I have had it for a long time, and there are many things causing it... like the fact that I was bullied and verbally abused as a child, I have developed a low self esteem and now I need attention. The thing is I do get attention, Rob gives me plenty of it, and I have had so much support this past year with all of my problems. So if I get attention, then why do I seek it? That is what really bothers me. What bothers me more is I need attention from someone I know (I won't mention his name). My counselor tells me that because I was given bad attention by boys as a child, now I need good male attention. This person is attractive, has a great personality, and he happened to give me attention at the start of all of my problems, so now I don't just want attention from him, I need it. If I don't get it I freak out, I hurt. Because I have such a low self esteem, I can't get attention through good things, such as singing (which I am passionate about). Ashleigh, for example, is a much much much better singer; she gets all of the solo's... so I don't get attention in that area. So since I can't get attention through good things, I try very hard to get attention in ways that are ridiculous e.g. cutting myself. This person is the main person I want attention from... I have been given reasons why, but I still feel like there is more behind it. I am quite weird.

Anyway, I want to know what you think. I have never shared anything as deep as this on my blog yet... for those of you who know me but didn't have a clue about my problems please don't freak out! hehe.  

God bless, love me.xx

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Happy Mothers day to all the Mums who are reading this!
I love my Mum. I call her the best Mum in the world just because she is mine, and I am sure you all do the same for your Mum. I didn't have money to buy my Mum a card or a present, just like every year. I forgot to make her a card as well.... but Mum loves me anyways.... I gave her a huge hug and a kiss and told her I love her, and that she is the best Mum ever.
Some Mum's don't like Mothers day because they should be treated nicely every day. I guess that is true, but it is also nice to dedicate a day to them. My Mum deserves all the love in the world.

Have a good day Mum's

xoxo God bless
Love me.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Blue skies

The past few days the sky  has been beautifuly blue. Barely a cloud seen, just a very lovely blue sky. Blue skies and a breeze, or like today, blue skies and complete stillness. It is nice to be still, to sit and think. Norm has been basking out in the sun the past few days, just letting all the warmth soak in. The warmth of the sun reminds me the warmth of the Son. Jesus provides us with both warmth, and light. It is amazing how we can  feel and sometimes see God in the weather. Last Saturday it rained very heavily for about 5 minutes, but the beautiful thing is that it was still completely sunny. The sun shining and glistening through the rain was gorgeous.

All this weather talk reminds me of a song that Ella Fitzgerald sings - Blue skies

Blue skies, smiling at me, nothing but blue skies do I see
Blue birds, singing a song, nothing but blue birds, all day long
Never sore the sun, shining so bright, never sore things going so right
Noticing the days, hurring by, when your in love, my how they fly
Blue days, all of them gone, nothing but blue skies, from now on

I do very much like this song Steph.B tought it to me during singing lessons :)

hmmmm anyways, as much as I love looking out at the afternoon sun shining on leaves, I have to do some assignments. I guess I just felt like taking it all in for a few minutes.

God bless you all
Love me!

Thursday, May 5, 2011


We all have opinions right? We all usually want to have a say on a mattter.
Unfortunatly, sometimes we have an opinion and it isn't accepted. At home I feel like I barely ever have an opinion, for example:   I like Home and Away ok? I know it doesn't have a good reputation because it is a soapy, but I like it. I like the stories, and the relations. The thing is, Matt doesn't like Home and Away, he thinks it is lame and repetative... when an add comes on for it, he calls it lame and questions why I watch it.  I try to tell him that I have an opinion, and he tells me that I don't. I know it sounds a bit silly that I would get frustraited over this but I do (nearly everything he says frustraits me). Matt says I am 'easy to get'... he means that my intrests are corny in other words. He will never understand I am a very emotional person, and that is why I connect with things  more easily. He has never understood me, and whenever I want a say, he cuts me off.
Here is my opinon ....
We should all have the right to state our own opinion (providing it is the right time and place, and it isn't too harsh), all the better if we agree, but if we don't agree, we should at least agree to dissagree instead of fighting about it.

I guess I am the type who likes absolutely everything fair. I tend to fight for my own rights and others. Hmm anyways. Just a thought for now. What do you think?

God bless
love me xx

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Relationship not a religeon!

These are the best 4 definitions of relationship I found on Dictionary.com
1. the state of being connected or related
2. association by blood or marriage; kinship
3. the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc: a business relationship
4. an emotional or sexual affair or liaison

Many times I have been asked "Are you religious?". I just mention God's name, and I am asked this question!  Haha well to ease their understanding I usually say "yes" because I know that they think that Christianity is a religion... but  my answer is really "NO!" I am not religious at all... although I am a christian! Christianity is not a religion. Religion in my opinion is a negative word. I have explored very little about religion admittedly but from what I have heard, religions are not nice at all. I don't mean to sound offensive to anyone, we all have the right to believe what we want, but this is my opinion on how I feel.

In a lot of religions their gods, apart from non existent, aren't loving god's. As far as I know some of the god's in these religions choose who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. In some religions if you commit a really bad sin you go to hell, even if you believe in your God and practice the religion... apparently it is not so bad if you commit a little sin though. Buddhism is probably the nicest sounding of them all but people who follow it are worshiping someone who is dead. I certainly don't understand worshiping idols either...
 " Why would I ever worship would and stone, things that can not hear or speak at all?" -Bethany Dillon (singer songwriter) Well said!

At SMASH camp last year, I was a leader for the first time. I didn't have my own small group to lead but I helped lead with Jenn Owen. Jenn was in the first aid team, and she needed me to be her back up just in case she needed to use her first aid skills elsewhere during small groups! We had 5 in our small group and most of these girls new each other. There was a girl in our group called Sarah who had been a christian before, well she attended church anyway and I suppose she believed mostly, but now she had fallen away from it all. She didn't expect to feel so welcome at the camp because she had been to churches who had made her feel un-welcome. When she arrived she was in tears because she was so welcomed by everyone. After hearing the nightly messages, and after seeing how we worship, she had dozens of questions. She told Jenn and I and our small group about her life and how she finds it hard to believe that God is loving. We answered so many questions that helped her out. Anyway on one of the days she asked us a question that we could sort of answer but she still wasn't satisfied... she said that there are many religions, and she wanted to know which one to pick? Westy was walking by, checking on the groups, not long after we had tried to answer Sarah's question....so we decided to invite him to sit with us, and Sarah asked him the question. Westy told us that he had done a lot of research on religions, and he decided in the end that Christianity (even though it isn't a religion) is the best one... he said if there was a better one, he would follow it but there isn't. Sarah spent the rest of the week asking questions and she eventually became a christian.

Hmm just a random thought, Christianity isn't actually about Christianity (if you know what I mean?)... in fact the term Christian is only used in the bible once I am pretty sure. We are believers who have faith in God and follow him, we were named Christians because I guess it needed to be named something other than believers?

Anyways so religions aren't really that great in my opinion... I am sure they have their good sides, but as Westy said, Christianity is the better option!

So if Christianity isn't a religion, then what is it? It is a relationship. It is hard to get your head around but the Father (God), the Son (Jesus) and the Holy spirit (Jesus's spirit) all have a relationship, they are one, therefore we must be one with God. Our God is a very loving God. He loves us so much that he gave his Son to be the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus was obedient to God. God was in agony along with Jesus when he was brutally killed, but it had to happen so that we could be saved!  Now God wants us to have a relationship. We all rebel against God, no matter if we believe in Him or not, we are all sinners. God also loves even if we don't believe. We choose to believe in Him, and if we do, we are rewarded, and can have a wonderful relationship.To God all sins are equal, because ALL sins seperate us from the lord. Murder is worse act than lying but it isn't a worse sin.

Anyways so those are my thoughts. If you disagree with anything I have said please comment. If you agree and have anything to add, or have any questions, please comment. I also apologise if this offended anyone, please comment if it did, but please also understand that this is my opinion. My opinion is based on what I have learnt over the years.
Anyway xoxo

God bless
Love me !

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


So uhm... yeh. Today was boring. Besides that I am sick and sleepy and I nearly fell asleep in class. I am also sick of crazy people in my class at tafe panicking all the time!! I suppose I panicked last week but I didn't complain to everyone. Yes tafe is hard, yes it seems impossible that all of our assignments will get done but seriously, I am pretty sure panicking isn't going to make anything better. If anything everyone is going to get stressed even more *sigh*.
Soooo. got GB tonight, should be ok, but it seems that the clouds are coming over and I can imagine the little Cadets going nuts because of the rain. I am pretty sure we are doing mothers day crafts of some sort today.... could be a tad bit messy me thinks. Oh well, I am used to being the one to clean up all the mess. I don't mind doing so either really. I just hope my cold doesn't weaken me too much.

Yeh, that's about it. ttyl
God bless
Love me xx

Monday, May 2, 2011

On Sunday

Oooook. So this-mornings church service was pretty great (WAIT, now that it is 1:24 am, it was actually yesterday mornings church service!). Good worship, good sermon too. Hmmm bit of a weird day though. Kids club started up for this term... this is my term off and it was weird because Rob was at Kids club and I wasn't. Other weird thing is Bec showed up to church... she hasn't done that for a while, and then she insists that we go to Great Western for lunch. We hadn't been to Great Western for lunch in ages. It was our tradition for a year or two and it suddenly ended, today was the first day in a long time. Anyways so then Rob stayed at mine for the rest of the day, that was pretty normal. Then Bec came to church with other Bec for the night service, that was defiantly unusual. Matt was worship leading but it was reasonably quieter than usual. Glen's sermon was good but I was a bit out of it, just one of those distracted nights... I got the gist of it though. Worship after the sermon though... oh my gosh... it suddenly got amazing. Matt introduced Hillsong's 'Aftermath' as an item. I had obviously heard it before, but it really got to me. I was sitting down with my head bowed and then the tears flowed the whole way through the song and all through 'Savior King' . I thought about all that God had done for me this week... how many prayers he has answered... and I couldn't stop thanking Him. As 'Savior King' came on, I couldn't help but stand and raise my arms and continue to cry tears of joy. He has provided everything for me! My weird day just didn't matter any more. Hmmm I wish I could go to church every day.

Anyway it be time for me to go to bed. Night Night. or should I say good morning?

xoxo God bless
Love me!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

This is the day that the Lord has made

 Psalm 118:24
This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Rise and Shine everyone, and give God the glory! He has made this beautiful day, we will rejoice and be glad in it! 
I love that we can rejoice in every day. I feel so lucky that we aren't under a government that persecutes those who worship. It is a pleasure to go to church on a Sunday and worship... and I know God certainly loves our worship! No matter what day, no matter where you are, what you are doing today, even though you may not be going to church, or whatever your circumstances.... Worship Him and be glad in this day. Give God all you have, loose yourself when giving him praise! Cry out!

May God bless you today.

Love me xxx