Yay me! Today I have been productive :) I didn't feel motivated though. It seems unlikely that I can be productive without motivation, but I was. The thing is I had no choice but to be productive. Many times today I sat at the computer and stared at a question, read it over and over again and then decided that I needed to get something to eat. I just couldn't think. I wrote a bit every now and again, but if looking out the screen door at the beautiful blue sky wasn't distracting, than eating, or going on facebook or e-mail was! I was cold and tired, and un-motivated. I asked God for help but I still felt a little helpless. I dunno. I got there slowly. After a few hours I decided that I would go lie out in the sun with Norm. It was such a beautiful day today, and I really needed to soak in the warmth of the sun. Norm has it so good, just lying around doing nothing all day. I could have stayed outside for hours, taking in the beauty of God's creation, but after about 20 minutes, I had to convince myself to get up and walk back into the cold house. It was a bit warmer inside when I got back though, and I was quite pleased. My prayer had started working. I kept on going, of course with distraction but I was perhaps a little more productive than earlier today. Towards tea time when the family got home from beachmere, the distractions around me were almost too much to bare. I kept thinking about giving up for the day, but I realised that it would leave me way too behind. After dinner I got back into it. Somehow I managed to get heaps done.
I have decided that I am going to pass. I have told myself so many times that I am going to fail, that I have gotten sick of myself! I am going to pass no matter how hard it gets, because I have the Almighty God right beside me "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Phil 4:13.
Love me xx