Heyy

We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Monday, January 30, 2012

Life

I don't really understand life. It can be so confusing. I often wonder why some people have really good lives and others don't. At least God knows... He has his reasons. I just wish that my life made sense. Sometimes giving up seems like an easier option than understanding life. Do you ever feel really undeserving? I do all the time. There are lots of people who love me and I can't fully comprehend why! I can't comprehend much at all. Hmmm.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Another random get to know me quiz, coz I'm bored.... and I thought the questions looked kinda fun to answer.

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? Neither, I have a fiance!
When did your last hug take place? About 25 minutes ago.
Are you a jealous person? I can be, but I try not to be.
Are you tired right now? Sure am.
Do you chew on your straws? Haha, yer, all the time. It's fun.
Have you ever been called a tease? Not really, but I have been called cheeky.
Have you ever been awake for 48 ours straight? No, but I think the longest I have been awake is 27.
Do you cry easily? Yes.
What should you be doing right now? Nothing, it is a Saturday. I came home from a wedding about an hour ago, and now I'm relaxing.
Are you a heavy sleeper? Hmm, not really... but I'm not exactly a light sleeper either.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for more than 6 months?  I have been with Rob for 3 years, 5 months, and 17 days. Yes.
Are you mad at someone right now? Not that I can think of.
Do you believe in love? If I didn't, then I would be REALLY stupid. I have a fiance, and besides, God is love and I believe in Him :)
What makes you laugh no matter what? I don't know. I can't think of anything specific.
Who was the last person you talked to? Rob.
Do you get butterflies around the person you like? Sometimes, but I'm in love, so I am kind of past the butterflies stage. He does make me feel amazing though.
Will you get married? Yep, next year hopefully.
When was the last time you smiled? When Rob kissed me before he left for work.
Does anyone like you? Of course.
Do you secretly like someone? It is hardly a secret that I am in love with my fiance!
Who was the first person you talked to today? Mum.
Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Rob.
What are you NOT looking forward to? The next time I have to work.
What ARE you looking forward to? My engagement party, my birthday, and my wedding.
Has someone of the opposite sex told you they loved you and meant it? Uhm, yes, I hope Rob means it!
Suppose you see your ex kissing another person, what would you do? Good for him.
Do you plan on moving out within the year? Nope, but hopefully the wedding will be next year, and I will move out then.
Are you a forgiving person? Sure am.
How many true friends do you have? A few.
Do you fall for people easy? I used to before Rob... but only if I thought they might fall for me too, or already have fallen for me.
Have you ever fallen for your ex's best friend? Haha, I was ready to say no, when I realised that I sort of did lol. He was cool with it though.
What's the last thing you put in your mouth? BAHAHAH, Rob's tongue!
Who was the last person you drove with? Rob.
How late did you stay up last night and why? 2:00ish I was with Rob, and we were having a long conversation.
If you could move somewhere else, would you? Not really. I don't want to leave Brisbane... but I do want to live with Rob :) When we get married of course.
Who was the last person you took a photo of? I took a photo of Rob and I on Rob's Mac book.... actually a took a few dozen.
Can you live a day without tv? Yep, but if I'm not watching tv I'm on my computer!
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? Dunno.
Three names you go by? Elissa, liss, lissa..... and there are many more too.
Are you currently in a relationship? Mhhmm.
What is your all time favourite romance movie? Hmmm.... I don't really have one, but I like The Notebook, Titanic, No reservations, You've got mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Dear John, 500 Days of Summer, Being Julia, and many more that I can't remember the names of. I also like anything Disney!
What is your current problem? Rob has gone to work, and I am lonely :(
Have you ever had your heart broken? Definitely. But it is all good, God fixed my heart.... He gave me Rob.
Your thoughts of long distance relationships? Painful! They rarely last, unless the couple decide to move to the same town. Long distance friendships aren't so bad... I have had a long distance friend since I was 13.
How many kids do you want to have? 3, but whatever God wants, I want.



Thursday, January 26, 2012

You say... God says...

Someone posted this on facebook tonight.... very cool :)

Time

Kat has suggested that I talk about time... Hmmm

Time is precious.... but sometimes it sucks!
When you want time to hurry up,  it ends up being really slow... Then there is the situation where you want time to slow down and instead it hurries up.
Of course, time itself isn't fast or slow... it is just that for some reason, we feel as though timing isn't right.  It is actually to do with impatience and excitement. Time goes slow when we don't want it to, because we are being impatient. The only way to make time feel faster is to distract ourselves with something.  When we are excited about something, time goes faster than we want it to... we might be with someone special, and before we know it, it is time to leave! This is because we are distracted... which is kind of a nice thing (because we aren't bored), but it sucks that we can't slow time down. Then again, in my experience, when we are with someone special, time can also seem to stop, because we become a little too focused on that special person!

In conclusion, we can't really do much about time... time is always in existence. It is just a matter of knowing that time is God's time, it is for the best, even though it seems like it isn't!

Did I confuse you?

Prep

Rob asked me to blog about Prep kids....

There are a few kids that I know who started Prep this week. There have been photo's up on facebook of them in their uniforms and they are so grown up!
I never did prep, it wasn't around in QLD when I was their age. I went to pre-school instead, where all we did was play pretty much. At prep, they get more of an education, which I think is better. The only sucky thing is that if you don't turn 5 before June, then you can't attend prep. It means that the children born after June won't graduate until they are 18.  In 2014 I think they plan on bringing grade 7 up to high school, so that those turning 13 are still able to start high school.
Anyways, that is all I have to say, appart from preppies are so cute! My seccond cousin Esther is the Cutest!

Should or shouldn't we care what people think of us?

I often have a hard time, especially in the work place, wondering if people like me or not. This week I felt the need to try and be more positive. Every time I worried what people were thinking of me, I told myself that they barely know me, and their opinion doesn't matter. Just over this week, I have sort of started believing that they think I'm ok. The staff have started talk to me a bit more, and don't seem to be judging. I know a few of them do judge me though. For some reason they have something against me. One day one of the staff there told me to use my initiative more... I thought I was, but apparently not. If I don't ask the staff if they need help with something, they judge, if I do ask them, they judge. Yesterday I was on the way to childcare and I started feeling yuck... I thought I would be ok, but I wasn't. We got to the centre, and I spent a few minutes in the car park trying to decide if I could handle it. I wasn't comfortable, and I felt like I might be sick. I decided not to go, and tried to get onto the centre on the way home... my phone wasn't working, and by the time I got onto them with Mums phone, it was about 10 past the time that I should have been at the centre. The director had been trying to get onto me apparently. She was pretty angry, and asked me to give her more notice next time... which I couldn't help, but she didn't understand! I was feeling sick physically and emotionally by then.... doubts and fears started pouring in. I worried about the director being angry with me, and in a way I was angry at myself for not at least trying to go in to work. Later I eventually got over feeling upset about it... I guess I sort of figured that her opinion about me doesn't matter either... she isn't going to fire me, because I am her only relief Group Leader. I would have to do something pretty stupid for her to fire me. She can believe what she wants about me, but I was sick with a bug, and could have spread it to everyone in the centre! I also didn't want to feel uncomfortable.

I don't know though.... does it or doesn't it matter what people think of us?
It seems that when someone says something negative about us, or they show that they don't like us through their body language... it matters a lot, because it hurts. Most people take negativity negatively. I do that a lot, and I worry. Now I am trying to treat negativity, positively.... either using what people say as constructive criticism, or just simply believing that their opinion doesn't matter. It kind of sucks though, when a lot of people at once, seem to not like us,  it sends out a signal that we must be doing something wrong, and it brings us down. Usually what one person thinks doesn't hurt as much.

Then again, I sort of wonder, if it is the case that we shouldn't care what people think about us... then what happens when people treat us well, or say nice things to us? We do care don't we? It feels great.

I have come to my own conclusion that we should care about what other people think about us.... but we shouldn't worry about the negative thoughts. It is true I think, that we should take criticism constructively, and try and change... but if we don't know what it is that we are doing wrong, and only one or two people have treated us as though we aren't capable, then we shouldn't care at all what they think.... it is probably their problem not ours! We should definitely care about the good comments we get, and the people who are friendly... it is important to know that we are doing a good job at something, and that people like us.

What do you think?




Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Incredible

http://www.poodwaddle.com/clocks/worldclock/

Check out this link, it is crazy. It surely makes one think.
What really got me, was that every seccond a child is aborted :(

Update on me

Life is good at the moment.
I have been getting heaps of work which is good and bad. To be honest, I have sort of been getting sick of childcare, and I often wonder if this is the career God wants me to be in. I'm not quite sure exactly where He wants me to be, but right now I guess I need to pray and wait. I think I sort of had a change of heart towards childcare yesterday... I was feeling quite miserable, and I didn't really want to go... but I actually had a really good time. It was nap time when I arrived, and I was in the toddlers room. It was so gorgeous seeing them sleep. God reminded me during that time that children are innocent and beautiful. They may be a pain in the but sometimes, but they are gorgeous... they are His creation.

Mathew 18:1-9

The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven
1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5“And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. 6But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
7“Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. 

I'm looking forward to work today, which is rather weird! lol.

Apart from work, life is pretty normal.  I'm happy, in love, tired, emotional, excited, and thankful.
Oh and I'm looking at going for my learners licence soon, which I'm a bit scared of, because it is a lot of pressure. I think it will take me a while to want to drive. I'm still on edge about it.

Hmm that is all I can think of right now.

God bless
Love, me!

Monday, January 23, 2012

What shal I blog about!??

Ideas please! What can I blog about??? :)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Ok so I'm really really REALLY soppy, but oh my gosh I adore Rob.

What always amazes me is how God put us together. I barely new Rob when I decided that I might try to make him more than a friend (Heh, we weren't even friends in the first place!). I had talked to him for a few minutes on a youth group hike, but I didn't take too much notice of him at all after that.... well...the thought of being with him may have crossed my mind once, but I imagine that I would have thought that it could never happen. If only I knew. 
I didn't want to sleep at the Orana youth shelter camp out fund raiser.... neither did Rob. To cut a long story short, we stayed up all night talking. I sore my first shooting star that night, and I wished on it, even though I don't believe in it, just for fun. Rob had sort of caught on to my feelings for him, and he returned those feelings. I am pretty sure I spent most of the night trying to be obvious, just to make sure that he caught on... but Rob still wasn't 100% sure if I liked him.... and I wasn't quite sure if he liked me, but we did have a moment that night when we looked at each other as though we were going to kiss. Sometimes I wish we did... it would have been sweet... but God must have had his reasons for it not happening. Lol When it was time to get up for breakfast, I pretended that I couldn't get up, just so that he would help me up. Then we sat at the breakfast table with each other that morning. For a week or two afterwards, I sat with him in church and hoped that we could at least be good friends. One after church, I asked him for his number and his e-mail, and I told him that I would send him an e-mail in the morning. In the e-mail I was very obvious on purpose, and after a long day of school, I found a reply. By about 8:30, we were officially a couple.
Anyways, I could go further with my story, but we would be here for ages.

I always found us an odd couple...
He is tall and big built, I am short and petite.
He likes video games, I hate them.
He is smart,  I'm a bit slow.
....And the list could go on. But what mattered was that he is a christian, and he had feelings for me. Pretty soon we started having deep conversations. We both matured as a couple and fell in love. I think he loved me first, but as soon as I started loving him, I knew for sure that we were meant to be together forever.
I love that we are still learning so much about each other... and I think we have a life time to learn more about each other, but what I know now, I adore. Sure sometimes I get peeved off by him... He has also said some things that have hurt, but I too have said some hurtful things.
I love the way he looks at me. I loves the way he treats me, I love that he cried and begged me to say when I tried to end things between us because I felt I didn't deserve him. 
He bought me a ring and proposed to me on a mountain, and he bought me another ring when the first one didn't fit, and let me keep the first one as well, despite the fact that he doesn't have much money. I just can not explain to you how much I love him. I'm not sure you care too much either.... but anyway....
What we have is special. Our love we have is unconditional.

This is all thanks to God. God did all of this. He did it perfectly  He knew that Rob and I would struggle, but he also knew that Rob is the only one that could put up with me :) He knew that Rob and I would change each other for the good.  I love Rob, because God gave him to me.

I adore my Father and I adore Rob <3

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Work

I'm not exactly sure why, but I really don't feel like working on Friday. I also have work all of next week, apart from on Australia Day. I'm looking forward to the money that it will bring.... but I'm remembering that next week is the start of the school week, which means that new children will be starting at childcare, and it is likely going to be chaos. I don't feel like working at all. I think I have been in holiday mode too much, I haven't worked since 2 weeks before Christmas. Now I'm nervous and not looking forward to it. I wish I was more confident, but I'm not. I really want to enjoy childcare, but so far I haven't really. *sigh*.
Today I signed up to be a Nanny. lol yeh I know it's weird, but it may help a little bit. It is basically babysitting.   Here is the link that will have my add on it. I have competition!  http://www.findababysitter.com.au/Search/Babysitters 

Sunday, January 15, 2012

My Phobia's

So I have been looking at a HUGE a-z list of phobias. http://phobialist.com/ 
These kinds of lists are all over the net, and I find it kind of funny. Some of them are plain rediculous and I almost find it hard to believe that they are real.....

Anyway....

Here are mine.... sort  of.....

Acrophobia or Altophobia- Fear of heights.

 Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places.
 Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens. <<<< JOKES! Not really, I just thought it was funny.
 Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets.
 Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.
Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia- Fear of being enclosed.
 Macrophobia- Fear of long waits.

I don't know what the name for "fear of things not ending" is, but that is also a phobia of mine. You know freight trains? I freak out when one goes by on the train station, and I worry about how long it is going to take before it ends. Sometimes I wonder if it will end. Kinda weird I know.
Ok, so I don't really have phobias. They are just fears. People who really have phobias simply can't stop thinking about the fear... and these fears are often rather dramatic. 

I'm afraid of heights... admittedly have cried a few times when I felt like I was too high and couldn't get back down without help.

I am afraid of open high places, mainly because I hate heights.... and the thought of there being too much space kinds freaks me out.

I'm afraid of missiles or bullets... or anything like that really... but that sounds natural right? I'm certainly not the only one.

I am mildly afraid of being in confined spaces... but it is only usually if I feel like I can't get out when I want to. E.g. I won't go down a water slide that has a tunnel, because I can't get out myself. Yet I don't mind driving in cars. I dunno. Maybe it relates to my fear of things not ending.
Fear of being enclosed... yeh that also has to do with being afraid of not being able to get out. 

My fear of long waits is just impatience I think.... and it also sort of connects with my fear of certain things not ending. 


I probably have a huge list of fears but I'm not going to go through them and possibly embarrass myself

So anyway... I have come to the conclusion that I really don't like the idea of not being able to escape ceartain situations. Does that make sense? 
I wouldn't really call myself a phobic... but hey... this has been fun :)

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Insensitive Brothers!

Why are my brothers so insensitive? I know that they can't fully understand me because I have different emotions and my brain works differently to theirs.... but can't they just learn to cut me some slack? I sometimes wonder if they have any compassion on me what so ever.
Matt used to tell me that he is meant to bully me because he is my brother, it is his goal in life!!! Pffft... most of my friends brothers were nice to their sisters and they even almost had a friendship with them (and this is not what I observed, this is what my friends told me). My Counselor was shocked when I told her what Matt used to say to me. She made sure that I knew that brothers are not meant to bully, they are supposed to protect their sisters. I do know a few people who are teased by brothers, and I have heard much worse bullying stories than my own, but for some reason most of the world has accepted that it is normal for them to bully or teaase. Matt seems to believe that he is only teasing and it is harmless. I sometimes wish he knew how much it hurt. 

I don't know, it isn't really always about bullying....Sometimes they just don't understand that certain things they say and do hurt. Or they do, but they simply don't care about my feelings. I don't even bother telling them how hurtful they are or how angry they make me... I've given up on that, because I know that in their minds they have won, and no matter what I say, I can't convince them to have another view on things. I have tried to fight them about it before and I ended up much more frustraited and upset.

Tonight my parents were out and Matt decided to invite Tim and Ashleigh over so that he could cook dinner for us all. I was in a pretty good mood, but they just ended up peeving me off so much. Tim started it.  Well Ash was talking about how some girls from youth group wanted to do a Zumba night, so we all giggled at that, and then she made the comment that none of the guys would want to do it.,,,  I then mentioned that I wouldn't want to do it either.... then Tim said " You don't do anything anyway"... I ended up saying "What don't I do?" and he said "Anything". I asked the same question again and he just shrugged and ignored me. I was ready to question him further to what he meant, but an add on TV came on, and Matt interrupted the argument by talking to Tim about the add, and then after they finished their conversation, I obviously couldn't go back to the previous conversation. What Tim said had angered and hurt me. I don't know if it was just because I only had 6 hours sleep last night, but I struggled not to cry. I left the dinner table because I was finished and I ended up lying on the couch to watch the movie that was on, hoping that I would calm down. Then to add to my frustration, Tim and Ashleigh both joined me which meant that I had to make room for them and sit up. I wasn't in the mood for company. When they went home after the movie I felt a bit better, but I got peeved off again when I realised that Matt had left the left over dinner on the kitchen bench, made a huge mess in the sink and hadn't rinsed any of it, making it really difficult for me to wash up. I know it doesn't sound that bad, but when one has been pushed to much, one tends to get angrier at the smaller things.

I want to ask you... What don't I do? ... Can you answer that question, or help me understand what Tim has against me? I'm confused!
You might remember the post that I wrote last week about what Tim had said to me on facebook... well as soon as Tim said what he said tonight, I thought about what he said to me on facebook, and It all overwhelmed me. I don't understand what he has against me. Does he seriously think I am completely lazy and don't do anything?....
No, I don't have a full time job, but I wish that people would understand that I am too young and un-experienced for anyone to hire me full time. Apart from that I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a full time Group Leader anyway. It isn't an easy job. I'm not lazy, just hesitant. So pretty much, I stay home all day and play the computer or watch TV.... but what else can I do when I'm not needed at work? I hate it when people make accusations without thinking them through.
I sing on stage at church, I'm a Sunday school teacher, I help in nursery when I'm rostered on, I'm a GB leader, and I would like to be involved further but I have actually been told that I do too much!
How is that lazy?
My first reaction to Tim is to be upset and almost believe that I am lazy and useless, but I'm sick of letting what other people say, get me down. Tim doesn't know me deeply, he doesn't understand me. I guess I wish I could just convince him to listen harder and pay attention to who I really am.

As for Matt, I'm not even going to go there. He just pushes me emotionally beyond what I thought I could be emotionally pushed.


Why I hate Religion but love Jesus

This vid is doing the rounds on facebook :)
It is something think about. I totally agree with what this guy says.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

He's a mighty God and He's mighty strong.

My Sunday school teacher tought me this when I was 5. Unfortunately I can't find a video to go with it, but here are the lyrics.


He's a mighty God and He's mighty strong
He can change the world, even beat King Kong
And He cares for us in so many ways
If we trust in Him, we will grow and change

Stronger than any man, even more than Super Man
Bad guys running high when you see He's on our side
Na na na na na!
(repeat however many times you like)

I adored this song as a child :)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

5 reasons why I HATE calling people that I don't really know.

I HATE using the phone! Texting and e-mailing is so much easier... but there have been times where I have had to call up random people, and I can't stand it.

Here are 5 reasons:

1. The biggest thing is that I am afraid of what I will say. I often end up mixing my words up and sounding all jumbled. It is kind of embarrassing, and it confuses the person on the end of the line.

2. The reception can be really terrible or the person on the other end talks too quiet.  .... This happened to me once when I had to ring up the Childcare Centre that I was placed at for prac. I heard children in the background and thats it....  "Pardon? Sorry I can't hear you". It was quite akward.

3. I have what I plan to say in my head, and I start talking...and then the person on the other end thinks they know what I am going to say, and decides to interupt when I am just about to get to the point. So I have to akwardly say "Uhm no..." and then go on with what I am going to say.

4. Akward silences (Need I say any more?)

5. I don't exactly know why I hate about calling people... those 4 reasons are legit, but I also think there is something else to it. There is an unknown reason. I just can't stand it. I get all nervous and sometimes feel sick.


I don't fully understand why I hate it... I mean seriously, what is the worst that can happen?
Most of my friends are like me, they hate it. Maybe it is something to do with our generation. Hmmm.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The things that aren't wrong with me... 10 to be exact

I don't have any serious problems
I don't have cancer
I'm not over weight
I can still sing even with my sore throat, although I'm not as strong.
I'm not crazy (or am I? Hehe jokes)
I can see
I can hear
I'm not a paraplegic
I don't get bad headaches or migraines 
My allergies don't cause me to be anaphylactic

:)

The things that are wrong with me right now...

One of my New years resolutions is not to complain on facebook this year.... so instead I'm going to complain right here.

Firstly I STILL have a sore throat. I have had it for 18 weeks now. 
The right side of my jaw has been sore for the past 3 days.
I have a cold.
I have a REALLY annoying sinus infection that I don't believe will ever go away.

Now that I have complained, I don't think I feel any better, but oh well.

Monday, January 9, 2012

SOOOOO HOT!

Apparently this is the hottest day that Brisbane has had in 2 years. It was 36 Celsius in our house most of the day, but it reached 37 Celsius and it was about 38 outside under the shade. It is Currently 35 Celsius in our house, and it is 8:04pm. I am assuming it is slightly cooler outside but I can't imagine it making too much difference. I'm not usually one to sweat much, but I'm sweating heaps today. I was invited to go to Albany Creek Leisure Centre (Pool) with a friend, but unfortunately I still have my cold, and swimming would be really stupid. I was tempted though.
Poor Joey the Cockatiel hasn't had a summer yet, so the poor boy was panting almost all day. He got to sit outside on the back deck for a while, but in the afternoon the Noisy Minor birds harassed him, so I had to bring him back inside. I don't think I'll cover up Joey's cage tonight, I think he might be a bit hot under the cover.I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight either. I wish we had air con.

I hope the weather person is right... apparently the heat is supposed to drop back down into the 20's by the end of the week! I hope so!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Aftermath

 This song almost always puts me in tears....

"Aftermath"

[Verse 1:]
The skies lay low where You are
On the earth You rest Your feet
Yet the hands that cradle the stars
Are the hands that bled for me

[Chorus 1:]

Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

[Verse 2:]
Freedom found in Your scars
In Your grace my life redeemed
For You chose to take the sinner's crown
As You placed Your crown on me

[Chorus 2 :]
In that moment of glorious surrender
Was the moment You broke the chains in me
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

And in that moment You opened up the heavens
To the broken the beggar and the thief
Lifted out of the wreckage
I find hope in the aftermath

[Bridge:]
And I know that You're with me
Yes I know that You're with me here
And I know Your love will light the way

[Chorus 3:]
Now all I have I count it all as loss
But to know You and to carry the cross
Knowing I'm found
In the light of the aftermath


Friday, January 6, 2012

Time to make a change

Ok, so I had a cruddy morning yesterday. I started to sink into the hole that I made myself.
Last night I decided to change all that. There is no point in being sad. People can think what they want of me... but God created me beautiful. I am His daughter, and He loves me unconditonally... He is eternally devoted to me. Why should I dislike myself? Why should I let what other people say get to me.

I haven't had a great start to 2012 for a number of reasons that I won't go into... but we are only a week in. I can still change, I can still have new beginnings. I'm going to make the most of this year! I have an engagement party and a wedding to plan!!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

So apparently i'm stupid and pointless.

Yesterday I posted on facebook..... "Why am I so sick?" and a girl I know wrote "Omg try and look at trees and grass from 7 till now lolz "..... which I didn't really understand and I still don't understand. Then Tim commented "Maybe they're saying go outside and do something instead of making pointless fb updates." 


So Tim is saying that I am lazy and don't do anything, he is saying that my facebook updates are pointless....
Y'know I may as well quit facebook because everything I say is pointless. Apparently there is a certain way that we should use facebook, and apparently I'm not doing it right. 

I write whatever is on my mind, so if my posts are pointless, then I must be pointless. I can't believe that I never realised this. I mean, I have always called myself stupid, but now I really see it. I'm a waste of space.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A song.

Let me know what you think. Constructive Criticism is welcome. Do take note that I had a cold when I recorded this. Sorry if it is too quiet!


Give me time, I'll change.



Here are the lyrics so that you can understand what I am saying (smart thinking Kat!)....

Give me time, and I will stop crying
and I will stop dying inside.

Give me time, and I will move on
You'll see I'll move on, I'll change.

But now I just need to sit here and listen for Him
Oh I just need to wait and things will change
Oh things will change

Oh Oh it's hard to be, it's hard to be free
Oh I know it's hard to see, it's hard to see

Give me time, and I will stop crying
 I will stop dying inside.

Give me time, and I will move on
You'll see I'll move on, I'll change.

Give me time, and I will stop crying
 I will stop dying inside.


Give me time, and I will move on
You'll see I'll move on, I'll change.

I'll change.









Love, me.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Can't it be next year already>?

2012 has only just started, and I want it to be 2013. I want to be getting married.
It's not that I don't want this year to happen, I do, but I also want to be married. I know 13 is an "Unlucky" number, but I believe 2013 will be my happiest year yet. Better yet, I will be the happiest I have ever been on our wedding day..... and even happier on our wedding night ;) 
I'm so cought up in dreams right now. I'm such a drama queen... and I'm a terrible person.... but drama just seems easier. Drama is more thrilling. I'm so boring without drama. Don't you think?
*sigh*

I'm all snuffly

I'm all snuffly. My nose is a bit blocked up, and it is annoying. It probably didn't help that I have been canoodling with Rob all day, but anyway, I'm annoyed. I am sick of being sick. *Pulls a sad face* *Shrugs* Oh well such is life *sniffles*.


Here is a random photo>>>> OOOOOoo Mushy Mushy. 

Robbie is at work :(

My Robbie is at work, while I am sitting at home all alone on new years night. He spent the day with me... now I miss him. I loves him soooooo much. Oh well, at least he is getting paid double time and a half  :) and I shall see him tomorrow when we go and watch Tin Tin in 3D at the movies! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAay.

Don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say. <<< apart from this sentence<<< and this one :) <<<