We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Should or shouldn't we care what people think of us?

I often have a hard time, especially in the work place, wondering if people like me or not. This week I felt the need to try and be more positive. Every time I worried what people were thinking of me, I told myself that they barely know me, and their opinion doesn't matter. Just over this week, I have sort of started believing that they think I'm ok. The staff have started talk to me a bit more, and don't seem to be judging. I know a few of them do judge me though. For some reason they have something against me. One day one of the staff there told me to use my initiative more... I thought I was, but apparently not. If I don't ask the staff if they need help with something, they judge, if I do ask them, they judge. Yesterday I was on the way to childcare and I started feeling yuck... I thought I would be ok, but I wasn't. We got to the centre, and I spent a few minutes in the car park trying to decide if I could handle it. I wasn't comfortable, and I felt like I might be sick. I decided not to go, and tried to get onto the centre on the way home... my phone wasn't working, and by the time I got onto them with Mums phone, it was about 10 past the time that I should have been at the centre. The director had been trying to get onto me apparently. She was pretty angry, and asked me to give her more notice next time... which I couldn't help, but she didn't understand! I was feeling sick physically and emotionally by then.... doubts and fears started pouring in. I worried about the director being angry with me, and in a way I was angry at myself for not at least trying to go in to work. Later I eventually got over feeling upset about it... I guess I sort of figured that her opinion about me doesn't matter either... she isn't going to fire me, because I am her only relief Group Leader. I would have to do something pretty stupid for her to fire me. She can believe what she wants about me, but I was sick with a bug, and could have spread it to everyone in the centre! I also didn't want to feel uncomfortable.

I don't know though.... does it or doesn't it matter what people think of us?
It seems that when someone says something negative about us, or they show that they don't like us through their body language... it matters a lot, because it hurts. Most people take negativity negatively. I do that a lot, and I worry. Now I am trying to treat negativity, positively.... either using what people say as constructive criticism, or just simply believing that their opinion doesn't matter. It kind of sucks though, when a lot of people at once, seem to not like us,  it sends out a signal that we must be doing something wrong, and it brings us down. Usually what one person thinks doesn't hurt as much.

Then again, I sort of wonder, if it is the case that we shouldn't care what people think about us... then what happens when people treat us well, or say nice things to us? We do care don't we? It feels great.

I have come to my own conclusion that we should care about what other people think about us.... but we shouldn't worry about the negative thoughts. It is true I think, that we should take criticism constructively, and try and change... but if we don't know what it is that we are doing wrong, and only one or two people have treated us as though we aren't capable, then we shouldn't care at all what they think.... it is probably their problem not ours! We should definitely care about the good comments we get, and the people who are friendly... it is important to know that we are doing a good job at something, and that people like us.

What do you think?

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