We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I'm not sick.... I just think I am.

So I went to the doctor on Saturday because my ear was hurting and was blocked. It turned out that I had a middle ear infection, and antibiotics would fix it. I hadn't been to this doctor before, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to ask her if she had any ideas about my health issues. I told her about how I can feel my pulse throughout my body, and at first she was confused about what I meant by that. She asked questions and I explained further. She didn't really know what it could be because I have already had tests done for all of the nasty stuff that I could have, and those tests came back clear. She told me that sometimes some people feel things in their body more than other people. I thought it was an interesting answer. I think she said something about a hyper sensitivity.
Anyway, then we talked a bit about my stomach problems and how I think it is IBS... and we talked about how I have had a sore throat for just about 11 months, and how it has gotten worse. She asked a bunch of questions about that too, and eventually came to the conclusion that it was stress related. She also said something about how sometimes thinking about sickness makes it worse. I can't remember her exact words... but I think what she meant was that my brain has tricked my body in to thinking that I am more sick than I am....
 e.g. When I first got my sore throat I didn't pay much attention to it... I had gotten a sore throat on and off lately anyway... but when it got to the 3 week mark of having my sore throat, I started thinking about how odd it is to have it for so long. ......Now I think about it, 3 weeks with a sore throat isn't that uncommon, especially for a person who spends time around children (I wasn't working with children at that time, but it was flu season, and I was teaching Sunday school at the time)...... But back then, 3 weeks with a sore throat wasn't normal and I stared thinking about it a lot. I tried a bunch of natural remedies which didn't work, and then I sore my doctor at 7 weeks of the sore throat. I had blood tests done and I was given ideas, the blood tests were clear, and I have had many more blood tests done, and seen more doctors about it etc etc etc. Somewhere along the line, I started worrying about it, and that is most likely when my brain did something crazy and because of that, my throat is still sore and will be probably until I work through it with a psychologist.
It makes sense! It is confusing, but our brains can do weird things. It especially makes sense because there are no visible signs in my throat of a chronic sore throat. I think my doctor is on to something! I hope she is right too... because it was getting to the point where there was nothing that could be done.
I might partly I have a big bug and a low immune system... I'm working with children daily now....It is normal to be sick at the start of a childcare career. But I think in the long run, I'm making it worse thinking about it. I would have never have thought about it this way if it wasn't for the ear infection I had....
I believe that God gave me this ear infection on a Friday night, so that I wouldn't go to my usual medical centre the next day (they are not open Saturdays), so that I could visit a doctor who had different ideas for me. My past 3 doctors have said that it is related to stress, but I didn't fully believe it until this doctor explained it the way she did.

Just something to think about.

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