We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Monday, July 4, 2011

Me at the moment.

Update on me at the moment:
I am STILL sick... I think I am getting better, but I am getting sick of being sick. I have a sore throat, which is mostly a sore lump on the right side of my throat. I also have an annoying cough, which I have had for a few days.. It has been on and off. Very unfortunately I have a sinus infection... my head hurts quite a lot today, I have had to have Neurofen liquid capsules, Sudafed PE decongestant, and Herron. Thankfully I have a second lot of my antibiotics to get through this week... I am hoping that they work..... I am frustrated that I can't sing. I missed singing on stage last Sunday night and last night because of my voice, so I am desperately hoping that I can sing when I am rostered on this coming Sunday morning. I really feel like singing and being musical today, but obviously I can't sing right now!
As for my back, I'm not so sure. It still hurts, but not quite as bad as it did two Saturdays ago, when it caused me agony. I'm not taking my strong pain killers, just mild ones. The mild pain killers ease the pain but don't get rid of it. I don't want to use the strong ones, because I want to see how much I can cope without them... I don't want to become dependent on them. It is mostly the left side of my back that hurts... I have my usual back pains, but this pain in my lower back, wasn't there before two Saturdays ago.
So physically, I could be much better, I will see how I go, and if I'm still not well by the end of the week, I will go back to the doctors. They haven't given me my urine sample, and blood test results back yet, so I am assuming that it is nothing serious, but I would prefer to know anyway!

Emotionally... I am feeling quite odd. I had been missing Rob a lot, because he had been sick for about two weeks. I haven't been able to kiss and cuddle him, and it has been painful. I sore him at holiday club up until Thursday when he had to stay home, but even when I did see him, I barely got to talk to him or anything, so it was hard. Last night Rob picked me up after church and we finally got to spend some time with each other. I got to talk to him about how I am, so it felt relieving... but it was still a bit difficult in some areas, because we are both sick.
I am feeling quite lonely, and I feel like I have had no one to talk to. It was great to talk to Rob, but I also feel like I need to talk to someone else, who can offer me advice. I haven't seen Lorelle (my counselor) in about 6 weeks, because the Baptist center where she worked, closed down the counseling department, which is very unfortunate for her, and people like me! Thankfully she will be using Pastor Don's office at KBC every Thursday from this week on I think. I won't be able to see her until next week (that's if I can get an appointment next week), because this Thursday is my graduation.
Anyways, so Ruth is away on a huge traveling holiday, visiting family with Don, so I haven't seen her in a while..... I would love to talk more to Steph.B, but I don't want to bother her, and also, she probably can't give me the advice I need, I usually talk to her when I need someone to listen, because she is an amazing support. I have been thinking about talking to her, but I dunno.... The only other person to talk to is ****. I REALLY want to talk to him, but I know it is going to cause some difficulty. I still want attention from him, but I have been trying so hard not to ask him for it, because I need to stop depending on him all the time, and I want to stop needing it. He is probably busy too, and I don't want to become a burden. I just wish I didn't need attention like I do. I am so addicted to it.
I feel quite drained, but at least something has been good. I have felt more grateful lately. My faith seems to be growing stronger too. For the past three nights, I have been lighting candles before I go to bed, so I can be still and spend some time with God. It feels quite holy, and relaxing.

Anyways, that is me for now... there is so much more I could say, but I would prefer not to wear myself out.

Love -E-

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