So firstly I am sick.... I have a sore throat and a runny nose. I have to start back at Vocational Placement today and I really do not want to give the little ones my cold, that would be terrible. I am also afraid that this cold is stopping me from working to my full potential. Last night I couldn't think... I was looking through my VP assignments again and I seemed to have gotten lost. It has not only affected my thinking, but I am sure running around with children isn't going to be easy to day. It is not like I can take it easy... in fact today I have to work really really hard! So this brings me to the stressed bit. Ok so I found out a few weeks ago that we have another assignment for VP that for some reason wasn't in our book. We had looked at the assignment at the start of the semester, and I had forgotten about it. I was a tad bit stressed at that time because I have so much to do, and now I am behind because of this assignment. These assignments are all fairly big, and time consuming. I somehow have to do them all in the space of less then a month. I have to do doccumentations and observations, policy and philosophy reviews and much much more. SO I was a tad bit stressed about that .... The thing is, now that I don't have much time left I am really stressed. I got quite depressed yesterday when I got this huge feeling that I am going to fail. I can't fail.... if I fail, my parents have to pay for each of the classes that I fail, I have to do them again next semester or next year, which means I have to go back to prac as well as tafe, and even re-do the assignments that I passed, because they add things on to the assignments every year. If I fail I will have to do all this, I won't be able to work, and I won't be able to pay my parents board money. I have no choice but to pass. I can't stand the thought of failing. Yesterday I prayed and prayed, I asked God to help me out, to handle this problem, but for some reason I just couldn't cope with the stress.
I have asked a few people to pray for me, and I prayed again last night, practically begging God for help with this. I need this stress to go away, and I need to pass. I feel a bit better thismorning I guess... I have the cold, but I am hoping that it doesn't get in the way. I am trying very hard not to stress, and I do feel a bit calmer. I would appreciate lots more prayer though. I need to let go, and let God handle this one, I need to trust that he will help me through, and I need to get everything done on time. It is either pass or fail at tafe, there is no in between, there is no grading. Please pray!
Love you all