We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Ewwww fat!

It  turns out that I was 48 kg at the start of the year... and now I am 55 kg... Not many people would say that 55 kg is a lot... but It seems a lot to me, when I have put on 7kg since January!
I bought a belt from JJ's for my birthday last year... it had 5 notches, and it was too big, so I added another notch. I made the belt as tight as I could. Now I put it on again this year, and I am only up to the 3rd notch. My hips have grown so much yuck! Last night was our GB break up, and we were having a masquerade ball. I thought it would be a good idea to wear my purple maxi-dress (also from JJ's), which I bought at the start of the year... I put it on yesterday afternoon and my hips and thighs were sticking out, I could barely fit in, and I almost got stuck trying to get out of it! So now I am having one of those girly  "Oh no, I'm growing up" moments. I am freaking out that my metabolism might be giving way. Either that, or JJ's clothing shrinks, and my scales are lying!
The scary thing is, I am pretty sure that I weighed myself a month or two ago, and I was 52kg... that means I have put on 3 kg in two months or less. EEeeek! I don't like this. I have also noticed that I have lotsa cellulite on the back of my thighs, I don't want to grow up! I knew I would get fatter when I get older, but I didn't think I would yet! I know I'm not fat, but I am getting fatter, and that scares me. I am an asthmatic, so when I get fat, I know I am going to have so many health problems. I know I shouldn't be worrying.. with God, there is no need to worry, but worrying is what I am good at!

So now that my metabolism is suddenly being mean... I don't know what to do. My problem is that I don't know how to stop eating. When I know there is yummy food in the fridge, I won't say no to myself. I am so used to not caring about what I eat ,because my metabolism used to be amazing. When I am bored, I eat,... when I am watching TV, I eat. With all this said, I should be cutting down on food, and getting heaps of excersize, but it is a known fact that I should have already been getting excersize. I am not strong enough to refuse my cravings, and I am not motivated enough to go on jogs or walks, even though I like it. I think I simply don't like to excersize alone, it is so boring. Besides that, my asthma stops me from doing the excersize I need. *sigh* I can't win? Does anyone have any good ideas?

God bless
Love -E-

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