We all have different lives, and this blog is revealing some of mine :) enjoy!

God bless

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

God can

I can't fix my problem... not me. I have had my problem for a long long time. It  hurts... it gives me so much pain, and it will continue to give me pain and cause trouble. Anyway It is a long story....
BUT... GOD CAN fix my problems. If I am motivated enough, I can trust in Him to fix me. He loves me, and only wants what is best for me. I am having a break before I go and look for a job... and I have decided that I am not going to spend my break lying on the couch all day, eating junk and watching TV like I would usually do. I am going to do some praying, do some thinking, read a few books, spend time with friends, talk, write, play the piano and sing. It is the solution that God has given me that will stop me seeking attention from certain peopl. Because of the lack of attention I received as a child, I have self esteem problems, as I have said many times before... and this causes me to seek attention from someone I know (there are many other reasons too)... I am trying to depend on him to much. It is begging to become damaging and will continue to damage a lot more, if I don't do something about it. Ruth Suggested that I write down a conversation between child Elissa and adult Elissa. Child Elissa, tells adult Elissa how much attention she needs, then adult Elissa reassures Child Elissa and gives her the attention she needs. Apparently this will help the little child inside myself, feel comfortable with myself as I am now. It will eventually raise my self esteem and help me to not need a heap of attention, because I have given the child side of me the attention that I didn't receive as a child. I don't know if that makes sense to you. You may have to know my childhood story to understand. But anyway so that is what I am going to do :)

Would you please pray for me? I need help... and now that Ruth has told me how my problem can be fixed... I need all the motivation I can get. Prayer helped me to pass my certificate and my diploma. I was so certain that I wouldn't get everything finished on time but I did because people prayed for me. For a long time I have been so certain that I can't fix myself, and God won't fix me. I figured that since I have had my attention seeking problem my whole life, then why would God fix me now?.... But now I know God will fix me... He has showed me this, and I am going to do the best I can. Your prayer will be much needed and will help. I won't be seeing Ruth or Lorelle for a while now, they are both taking a holiday. I think It is going to be difficult without them... but I am taking it as a challenge.

God bless
Love -E-

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